Sunday, April 25, 2010

Becoming a parent but be yourself

I know becoming a parent is a life-changing moment. Nevertheless I think it is also important to realise, that no matter what will happen to you after you had the baby, you still will be yourself. Maybe a new version of you. Maybe a more responsible one. Maybe a more caring one. Maybe someone who sleeps less. Maybe one who is more focussed on the precious new little being
you will be still you. And I think that is something you shouldn’t forget about. Not during your pregnancy. And not afterwards either.

So, although a lot of my thinking, doing and talking is centred on the arrival of my little one in a couple of weeks (and you, dear readers, have surely recognised this in the blog as well – all that baby stuff!) – I try also to focus on things, which I like. Which are important to me. Or to other people I love.

So, dear mums and mums-to-be, please look after yourself as well. And make sure you spend enough time that is...

all about you:
  • Spend money on yourself: buy a piece of art, buy beautiful (not necessarily practical) clothes
  • Read a stimulating book: I highly recommend ‘Mother Tongue’ by Bill Bryson, which is an amazing book about the English language, but the key thing is that is has nothing to do with pregnancy, labour, breastfeeding or parenting
  • Pamper yourself: get a new hair cut (and don’t just focus on easy maintenance), paint your nails (or ask someone to do it for you)
  • Make something for you: sew a dress, craft some jewellery, draw

all about your loved ones:
  • Spend quality time with your partner: have fun, be romantic, ask about his feelings/ thoughts and listen, talking about the little one is not allowed 
  • Spend quality time with your family and friends: listen to what they have to say, what is going on in their lives (weddings, breakups, new jobs, holidays...), don’t only ramble about your pregnancy and baby  
And please enjoy these times without any guilt, because if you are happy, your baby/ child will benefit from that as well. Before and after his/ her birth!

So be happy!


Catherine said...

Da kann ich nur zustimmen. Ich finde es manchmal ganz schön traurig, wenn man ein süßes und gestyltes Baby sieht und dazu eine Frau die zum Muttertier geworden ist. Irgendwie stimmt da die Relation nicht mehr so ganz. Und was man auch noch machen kann ist, sich als Paar ab und zu verabreden. Zum kochen statt essen gehen oder DVD gucken statt Kino oder so.
LG Catherine

* Ninotschka * said...

Ganz genau! Ich habe mir fest vorgenommen nicht 'das Mutti' zu werden. Die ersten Wochen ist es vielleicht noch zu vertreten in Schlamperklamotten rumzulaufen, aber dann muss Schluss damit sein.

dash robin said...

I love this and only found your words because of the creative space post...very true and very wise words. I am sure you will be a very contented mumma!

* Ninotschka * said...

Thanks so much for your kind words, Dash! I will try my very best. My little one deserves a happy mama.